bamabikeguy
Active Member
I was thinking about that "MBdaydreaming" aspect, out on the backroads with 360 degrees of vision, going at a speed that is perfect for observation. Its hard to get bored, because something new pops up around the bend or over the hill.
What I've found is I can begin an hour ride with a puzzle or problem or project in mind, and by the time I get to the destination, I've pretty well worked it out.
The physical act of becoming "bewildered as to place or destination" is pretty durn simple. I live 25 miles from the county seat, and traveling by auto since 1974, to get downtown I could make one right turn on US 278, or make a right, left, left and get there on US 69.
But on the bike, on my favorite backroads, to get to my usual spare gas fillup/water fountain stop at St. Bernard Abbey or lunch with the sisters at Sacred Heart Monastery, it takes between 9 - 17 twists and turns. In the city itself, I can race a vehicle from St. Bernard Bridge to either side of town, however, and get there faster with my shortcuts.
I once started on the north side of town, on US 31, and hit ALL 16 green lights in a row. I never touched the brakes, never let off the throttle. I sped through every intersection on that 4 laned main drag, thanks to my engine and the traffic engineer's planning being in perfect sync.
When I first started riding these things in 2005, to figure out those 9-17 turns, I GOT SUPER-LOST. Yogi Berra said "when you come to the fork in the road, take it", and I found that advise really works. I blame it all on the 911 System, when the names of the roads were changed to numbers, and on the oil companies, who shut down all the small country stores like my dad's Amoco.
Country stores usually have a bench in front, the "Liar's Bench" is what we called ours.
On my first long ride in neighboring Blount County, I came across a bench full of liars. That week it was all in the news, on all the television stations, that they had photographed a mountain lion over there, and I rolled into the station at the US 278/79 intersection in Brooksville, with it's 3-4 locals sitting outside, a chawin' and a jawin'.
Since I was the first and only motorized bike in the area, after I showed them how it worked, I said I was out on a lion safari, asked them "which way to the wild cats?"
By this time the store owner came out the door, and he listened as they gave me directions....lets put it this way, those tobacco spitting bullshooters knew they had a fish on two wheels.
Their paved roads would turn into gravel roads, then would turn into dirt. I'd U-Turn and go left, then somehow the west would head east. Half the "Dead End" signs must be stolen property, they sure were missing in that area.
Cullman and Blount counties are both "dry", and used to be you could get the the Etowah county line beer stores 30 miles away driving nothing but dirt roads. There were quite a few quarry-swimming holes, and a carload of teenagers in a convertible could spend a full day and barely ever see asphalt. Think "Dukes of Hazzard" and clouds of dust.....
Those dirt roads from my youth were now paved, but barely.
Modern air conditioning keeps folks indoors these days, too. It took me two hours and all of my spare gas and drinking water to get back to a highway (US 75) I even had a clue about, and I finally spotted a farmer mowing his yard. So I rolled up and begged for a splash of gas and drink of water, enough to get me back to US 278 in Snead.
As the crow flies, I was twenty miles from my original destination, all thanks to decades of Susan Moore High School's football rivalry with Holly Pond'ers. (SMHS is a class 2A football powerhouse sitting in a gully up in those hills somewhere).
How do I know that?
When I got back Brooksville, the store parking lot and that bench was empty. I went inside where the owner was smiling. I told him to tell that bunch of overall wearing ********'s that the "only Lion in Blount county was the Lyin' on that **** bench."
He said my mistake was mentioning Holly Pond, there had been an upset sometime in football, I dunno if it was in 2005 or back in the 1950's-60's when those ******* went to school. I got aggravated and said "****, I don't even live in Holly Pond, they just have the Post Office. I was a Rough Edger !!!
I got my revenge a year or two later.
Blount Co.'s long, straight highways 231, 79 & 75 and were perfect for my "breaking in the engine" 50-100 miles on my bike builds. (Just don't make any turns !) I've seen those liars many a time since, it's still a laugh for them. And I'd always roll up and ask, "seen any lions lately?"
However, whenever I got 10 miles away from that intersection, in a restaurant, or at another station in another town, and ESPECIALLY if there was a grey-haired grandmother within earshot, I'd report I'd seen something that looked like a black bear, on the far side of some pasture.
Then I'd get to another community store 10 more miles away, and report that some grey haired old lady told me she'd seen a 200 pound black bear in her garbage that morning.
It was about a year later, about noon, when I rolled into that Brooksville store with the overall wearing liars, and when I asked about the mountain lions, one of them exclaimed "we ain't seen that puma lately, but you better watch out for bears !!! "
I thanked them for the warning, and rode off a smilin'.
Ever since then, I NEVER ask about that mountain lion. Often when I meet a Blount Co. person, and especially when 3 are sitting on a bench, I inquire about the "Bear Situation over in Brooksville."
Rough Edge 1 - Susan Moore 0.
What I've found is I can begin an hour ride with a puzzle or problem or project in mind, and by the time I get to the destination, I've pretty well worked it out.
The physical act of becoming "bewildered as to place or destination" is pretty durn simple. I live 25 miles from the county seat, and traveling by auto since 1974, to get downtown I could make one right turn on US 278, or make a right, left, left and get there on US 69.
But on the bike, on my favorite backroads, to get to my usual spare gas fillup/water fountain stop at St. Bernard Abbey or lunch with the sisters at Sacred Heart Monastery, it takes between 9 - 17 twists and turns. In the city itself, I can race a vehicle from St. Bernard Bridge to either side of town, however, and get there faster with my shortcuts.
I once started on the north side of town, on US 31, and hit ALL 16 green lights in a row. I never touched the brakes, never let off the throttle. I sped through every intersection on that 4 laned main drag, thanks to my engine and the traffic engineer's planning being in perfect sync.
When I first started riding these things in 2005, to figure out those 9-17 turns, I GOT SUPER-LOST. Yogi Berra said "when you come to the fork in the road, take it", and I found that advise really works. I blame it all on the 911 System, when the names of the roads were changed to numbers, and on the oil companies, who shut down all the small country stores like my dad's Amoco.
Country stores usually have a bench in front, the "Liar's Bench" is what we called ours.
On my first long ride in neighboring Blount County, I came across a bench full of liars. That week it was all in the news, on all the television stations, that they had photographed a mountain lion over there, and I rolled into the station at the US 278/79 intersection in Brooksville, with it's 3-4 locals sitting outside, a chawin' and a jawin'.
Since I was the first and only motorized bike in the area, after I showed them how it worked, I said I was out on a lion safari, asked them "which way to the wild cats?"
By this time the store owner came out the door, and he listened as they gave me directions....lets put it this way, those tobacco spitting bullshooters knew they had a fish on two wheels.
Their paved roads would turn into gravel roads, then would turn into dirt. I'd U-Turn and go left, then somehow the west would head east. Half the "Dead End" signs must be stolen property, they sure were missing in that area.
Cullman and Blount counties are both "dry", and used to be you could get the the Etowah county line beer stores 30 miles away driving nothing but dirt roads. There were quite a few quarry-swimming holes, and a carload of teenagers in a convertible could spend a full day and barely ever see asphalt. Think "Dukes of Hazzard" and clouds of dust.....
Those dirt roads from my youth were now paved, but barely.
Modern air conditioning keeps folks indoors these days, too. It took me two hours and all of my spare gas and drinking water to get back to a highway (US 75) I even had a clue about, and I finally spotted a farmer mowing his yard. So I rolled up and begged for a splash of gas and drink of water, enough to get me back to US 278 in Snead.
As the crow flies, I was twenty miles from my original destination, all thanks to decades of Susan Moore High School's football rivalry with Holly Pond'ers. (SMHS is a class 2A football powerhouse sitting in a gully up in those hills somewhere).
How do I know that?
When I got back Brooksville, the store parking lot and that bench was empty. I went inside where the owner was smiling. I told him to tell that bunch of overall wearing ********'s that the "only Lion in Blount county was the Lyin' on that **** bench."
He said my mistake was mentioning Holly Pond, there had been an upset sometime in football, I dunno if it was in 2005 or back in the 1950's-60's when those ******* went to school. I got aggravated and said "****, I don't even live in Holly Pond, they just have the Post Office. I was a Rough Edger !!!
I got my revenge a year or two later.
Blount Co.'s long, straight highways 231, 79 & 75 and were perfect for my "breaking in the engine" 50-100 miles on my bike builds. (Just don't make any turns !) I've seen those liars many a time since, it's still a laugh for them. And I'd always roll up and ask, "seen any lions lately?"
However, whenever I got 10 miles away from that intersection, in a restaurant, or at another station in another town, and ESPECIALLY if there was a grey-haired grandmother within earshot, I'd report I'd seen something that looked like a black bear, on the far side of some pasture.
Then I'd get to another community store 10 more miles away, and report that some grey haired old lady told me she'd seen a 200 pound black bear in her garbage that morning.
It was about a year later, about noon, when I rolled into that Brooksville store with the overall wearing liars, and when I asked about the mountain lions, one of them exclaimed "we ain't seen that puma lately, but you better watch out for bears !!! "
I thanked them for the warning, and rode off a smilin'.
Ever since then, I NEVER ask about that mountain lion. Often when I meet a Blount Co. person, and especially when 3 are sitting on a bench, I inquire about the "Bear Situation over in Brooksville."
Rough Edge 1 - Susan Moore 0.
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