Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by give me vtec, May 9, 2010.
so... if I am wrong, then go ahead and make it right.
You were wrong to go all political in the white zone. You have "made it right" by ending that.
As for your politics, I don't care to discuss them - you and I share some political attitudes and we differ on rather more. Proving a political attitude "wrong" is an exercise in futility - I know that, why don't you?
You can make any politically biased claim you'd like, and as the mood strikes me I may or may not respond - but please do so here, in the CC, no where else on the board.
Yeah, FLAME WAR, let it be keyboards at ten paces! By the way Simon, vtec called your dog ugly but you didn't hear it from me.
I don't keep pets, not even a goldfish. With my precarious health, it wouldn't be fair to them.
sorry kerf... I dont have anything else to say. simon was the one who acted like I said something fallacious.... I was just giving him the opportunity to correct me on my mistake.
Doesn't look like he can so that's that... show is over folks.
For anyone interested, go read the exchange in the BP thread in the White Zone. I have edited nothing there except a one letter typo. I neither stated nor implied any falsity to any statement of yours vtec, I merely asked you in a civil fashion to adhere to the rules of that forum.
You may misinterpret my words to your hearts content, it will not change what they say.
I already stated... if you have something civil to bring to my attention do it in the form of a PM. Its like scorning a child in public... it doesn't do anything but make the child resentful. Any good parent knows that you pull your child away from the crowd and speak to them alone.
The same can be said for adults.
You flat denied my simple solution so now you get to lay in the bed you made.
You are just beginning your adventure in parenthood, lad. I've raised seven to successful adulthood. So I'd suggest that you take your theories on child-rearing practices and keep them to yourself. In any case, you are putatively no child.
Circumstances dictate whether a private word or a public one is more appropriate in any given situation as regards correction, and you are NOT qualified to make that judgment for others.
ok... we will see if my children stick around to help when I'm old... or if they all move as far away as possible.
By which time I will be long gone. Four of my seven children have emigrated at my strong urging - one to Australia, one to New Zealand, two to Chile. If I can persuade the rest to emigrate I will, although I doubt the olderst of those remaining in the states will do so - she is happily marreied, has 3 childrenand a 4th on the wauy, and my son in law isn't interested in emigrating. The youngest two may, or may not do so - I hope they do.
The youngest is in university in Chicago, although she'll be here in 6 days. The second youngest has been living with and helping me for the last 9 years, ever since his mother's murder. I moved to the place I reside now primarily because I WANT him to make a life that does not include looking after Dad - he's soon to be 28 and it darned sure is appropriate that he should have his own life separate from my concerns.
So, try again with infantile snipes - you only make yourself look bad, not me.
simon did you yell at your kids in public???
vtec, have you stopped beating your wife yet?
Same kind of question, lad. Asking such is derogatory to you, not the one it is asked of.
lol... I thought that as I was writing. But the question was sincere so it stands.
The reason I ask is because my brother in law constantly degrades my nephews in public. He does it any chance he gets and I see personally the devastating damage it does to them. Adults can handle the abuse because their character is already developed... they run a higher chance of knowing who they are and being secure with that.
Children do not... if you constantly tell your child they are bad, especially in public they grow up thinking that. Structure determines behavior and if you surround a child with a negative environment and constantly reinforce negative behavior with resentment, you get resentful children. I know it for fact...
Given the expansion on your question, I'll undertake to answer it. First I hsave to say that there is no hard and fast rule for me in disciplining children other than to couch the discipline in terms that leave it very clear to the child being disciplined that I am unhappy with the behavior, but that my love for them has in no way changed.
Children NEED discipline - they are born animals, and must be taught to be human. Discipline does not need to be abusive, and in fact the ideal is that it never be abusive in any way. The little blighters WILL try your patience, though. So, if you are going to be a successful parent, you must first have a much greater store of patience than they have of willfulness. Difficult sometimes.
To answer your question, yes, I sometimes disciplined my kids publically, but no, I didn't yell at them. The only exception to that was with my oldest son, whom I had occasion to yell at very loudly indeed - but then, in that circumstance, had I not yelled loudly he'd never have heard my command to stop, and would have been killed by running into a turning aircraft prop.
Scared both my Father and I a lot worse than it did him. So, yes, I yelled at him - I even yelled at him after he stopped running, and once he was away from the aircraft I talked to him rather loudly for a while. He remembers it clearly to this day.
Belittle and demean them? Never - in fact that was a major issue in my marriage early on, because I refused to allow my wife to do the "giving guilt" thing her mother and g'mother had done to her - nor would I allow them to speak to our children in that fashion.
I believe that discipline must be an expression of love, not anger. Every one of my children was wanted and loved. Anything else is robbing them of what they righfully deserve.
Separate names with a comma.