How true it is !!!

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Fabian, May 30, 2013.

  1. Fabian

    Fabian Well-Known Member

    I was having a discussion with friends the other night, who are in predictable relationships and have predictable relationship problems, but this theme kept coming up.
    I need a second opinion because it's depressing to know that this could be the norm in 'marriage land'

    It's always the same story. Work your ass off 10hrs a day to bring home that desired pay check.
    Spend that paycheck on house, wife, kids.
    Spend another 4 or 5 hours being that wonderful dad.
    Time for yourself = an hour or two before sleep time when you are too tired to speak or move.

    The reward??? "You're not meeting my emotional needs, i want a divorce".
    Last edited: May 30, 2013

  2. grinningremlin

    grinningremlin Active Member

    Always been the case, modern societal ills making it more prevalent (less money, more hours, no defined roles).I called a buddy a while back on his B-day, it was like talking to some form of 1990's AI.He was slow to respond, I had to repeat myself frequently, his voice was monotone, and the canter of speech was kind of lifeless/dead.
    He was playing Mr. Mom while the wife was at some woman's group celebration for mothers.He was on a four day leave from work (sole provider of the family), as it was driving him nuts, and two of them he was doing Mr. Mom.Meanwhile she was celebrating with the choir about how great they are at mothering, so much so they needed a party, my buddy hasn't been out for fun since the FIRST kid arrived.
    Fabian likes this.
  3. Fabian

    Fabian Well-Known Member

    What really surprises me the most is that (between my group of friends and extended social circle) i'm the only one who appears to be truly happy and content with life, yet i am the only one who hasn't been married and doesn't have kids (ok, it came close at one stage but self preservation kicked in hard and put an end to that situation) and i'm the only one who isn't on some sort of mind altering substance (be it alcohol of psych drugs) to make life bearable; living with a cantankerous and downright oppressive partner.

    Another point of interest is those who say that i have life so easy because i don't have any of the stress or difficulties of living in a long term relationship and dealing with the issues of raising a family, not mention that they are jealous of my financial freedom because i can spend my money as i so choose to spend my money, and i can go where i want and when i want without getting the all important "ok" from a partner.

    The next point has me even further perplexed: those who say that my life would be so much more fulfilled if i had a long term partner and a family.

    They must crazy to even suggest such idiocy.

    I can't imagine why anyone would put themselves in a situation of entrapment working their backside off with good intent to raise a family, yet knowing the statistical average of being taken to the cleaners i.e. the divorce court and stripped of everything including their good name.
  4. grinningremlin

    grinningremlin Active Member

    Yeah it's not too advantageous for the man from what I can see.My fav comedian jabs at marriage:

    "Why are people still getting married,... isn't anyone reading the stats?! If you were going skydiving and they told you that half the parachutes weren't going to open, you'd say, F THAT!" Bill Burr

    "Your divorce is going to be better than your marriage, unlike marriage, divorce is forever.I'm not saying get divorced, if you're in a good marriage stick with it, all I'm saying is the divorce would be WAY better!" Louis C.K.
    Fabian likes this.
  5. Fabian

    Fabian Well-Known Member

    Maybe part of the pressure is from parents who want grand children, almost forcing people into relationships because that's just the way it has been done in the past and that's the only way they know how to be "supposedly" happy

    My parents (especially my mother) and to some extent her friends have been busting at my a.r.s.e. for the last 10 years for me to have kids.
    It got to the point where i was sick and tired of the incessant pressure to have kids from family members just so they could hold a baby. I have no idea why they were all devastated when i said that it will "never" happen.

    Having seen so many people i know throw their lives under a bus just to get married and have kids, and then tear their lives apart with divorce whilst trashing their children's emotional development (with the goal of making life better through a process of relationship destruction) is not a concept that could give me any joy.
  6. 5-7HEAVEN

    5-7HEAVEN Member

    Happy wife, happy life.
    Fabian likes this.
  7. Fabian

    Fabian Well-Known Member

    I agree. Sadly they are a dying breed.
  8. Stoltzee

    Stoltzee Member

    OKAY! I' point some things out to you guys.

    Women have things that men don't;

    1. Women have support groups.

    2. Women get to be victims.

    3. Women will gang up on men.

    4. Women are allowed the privilege of traumatic events.

    In this country men can't be victims, and men can't be abused. American society only allows us to work , and if something happens to us, were suppose to suck it up, and keep working.

    This is because women stick together, but men have go it alone without support from one another.

    A divorce can be a traumatic event for a man also, but society fails to include us men. Technically we are not allowed the same rights.
    Fabian likes this.
  9. Fabian

    Fabian Well-Known Member

    From past and current observation, that is a terribly accurate and realistic portrayal of the situation with regards to the predicament of the "male" species in modern society.
  10. 5-7HEAVEN

    5-7HEAVEN Member

    Lol, the gist of it is to make them happy.
  11. Fabian

    Fabian Well-Known Member

    Making them happy isn't difficult but much harder than it seems.
    The hard part is getting them to understand that they can't make men responsible for their happiness.

    To be genuinely happy requires the capacity to be happy through your own actions and actions towards others i.e. your actions are reflected back at you through your participation in life and how you treat others.

    A man can only "add" to a womans overall life experience and happiness, but if a woman is not happy within herself, she then can't hold a gun to a mans head and demand that he is solely responsible to manufacture and insert happiness into her heart and life, whilst choosing not to incorporate any of these life skills and also not gracing any of those life skills on other people.

    More than once i have heard the older generation say that giving is more rewarding (to life happiness) than just taking and taking some more without the heart wishing to return the sentiment bestowed upon it through kind actions of another person.

    Such behaviour is corrosive to the heart, which then becomes a vessel of acid; eventually leading to the substance eating away the container holding it.

    A man cannot make a woman happy when she fails to realise this simple construct.
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2013
    Stoltzee likes this.
  12. grinningremlin

    grinningremlin Active Member

    To be clear, I love them, but they are like the populace, 3/4 just more trouble than worth.
    One thing I've come to realize ( I blame this on societal ills) is that men/husbands and children seem to be part of a womans life plan, like a purse, dog, car, or other accessory.As soon as they figure out they have a being on their hands they are discontent.
    Stoltzee likes this.
  13. 5-7HEAVEN

    5-7HEAVEN Member

    I agree with some of what you're saying.:)