If you tie your elephant to a parking meter, make sure you have quarters...

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by KilroyCD, Jun 10, 2010.

  1. KilroyCD

    KilroyCD Active Member

    I ran across this list of odd laws that are on the books here in the US, so I thought I'd pass this along. Some of them should give you a good chuckle...

    It’s illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.

    Whispering in someone’s ear while he’s moose hunting is prohibited.

    Cutting down a cactus may earn you a twenty-five-year prison term.

    It’s illegal to mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas.

    You may not eat an orange in your bathtub.
    (Darn! I'll have to switch to Grapefruit)

    It’s unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor (Denver).

    A pickle cannot actually be a pickle unless it bounces.
    (Hmmm, some of my checks must have been pickles...)

    It’s illegal to get married on a dare.

    Washington, D.C.
    It’s against the law to post a public notice calling someone a coward for refusing to accept a challenge to duel.

    If you tie an elephant to a parking meter, you must pay the same parking fee as you would for a vehicle.

    It’s illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless you draw the shades first.

    All residents may be fined for not owning a boat.

    A man must not give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing fewer than fifty pounds.
    (No fewer than 50 pounds? I'll make sure I have quarters when I tie her to a parking meter in Florida.)

    It’s illegal to take a French poodle to the opera (Chicago).
    (Some of my dates have been dogs, but never described as a poodle)

    The value of pi is 4, and not 3.1415.

    One-armed piano players must perform for free.

    It’s illegal to throw knives at men wearing striped suits (Natoma).
    (How about those wearing plaid?)

    Every citizen is required to take a shower once a year.
    (Now that's cruel and unusual punishment!)

    Biting someone with your natural teeth constitutes simple assault, but biting someone with your false teeth classifies as aggravated assault.
    (What if you gum them?)

    If you keep your Christmas decorations on display after January 14, you’ll be fined.

    It’s against the law to wash or scrub a sink, no matter how dirty it is (Baltimore).
    (No comment)

    No gorilla is allowed in the backseat of any car.
    (Does that mean I have to tie it to a parking meter with my elephant?)

    A woman may not cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.

    It’s illegal to paint a sparrow with the intent of selling it as a parakeet (Harper Woods).

    Walking a dog without dressing it in diapers is forbidden (Temperance).
    (My dog is old enough to wear Depends...)

    Children may buy shotguns in Kansas City, but not toy cap guns.

    It’s a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail.

    Bar owners may not sell beer unless they brew a kettle of soup simultaneously.

    It’s illegal for men with mustaches to kiss women.
    (If I lived in Nevada it would suck to be me)

    New Hampshire
    It’s forbidden to sell the clothes you’re wearing to pay off a gambling debt.

    New Jersey
    It’s against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
    (Knit one, pearl two..Dang! I missed a hit!)

    New Mexico
    Females may not appear unshaven in public.

    New York
    While riding in an elevator, you must talk to no one, fold your hands, and look toward the door.
    (I do that in New York anyway...)

    North Carolina
    It’s against the law to sing off-key.
    (I'd be on death row if I lived in NC)

    North Dakota
    It’s illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.

    You must honk the horn whenever you pass another car, according to the state’s driver’s education manual.
    (Flipping the bird is optional)

    It’s forbidden to take a bite out of another person’s hamburger.

    State law requires dishes to be drip-dried.

    It’s illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.

    Rhode Island
    You may not bite off another person’s leg.
    (You may bite off your own, but not anybody else's)

    South Carolina
    If a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, he is required by law to keep his promise.

    South Dakota
    It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.

    Selling hollow logs is strictly forbidden.

    You may not shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
    (I'll take a room on the third floor please...)

    It is illegal not to drink milk.

    Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.

    Tickling a woman is unlawful.

    It’s illegal to pretend that one’s parents are wealthy.

    West Virginia
    If you make fun of someone who does not accept a challenge, you risk a six-month prison sentence.

    Unless a customer specifically requests it, margarine may not be substituted for butter in a restaurant.

    Unless you have an official permit, you may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April.
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2010

  2. GearNut

    GearNut Active Member

    No wonder our country is getting so messed up!
    I know that in Arizona, the punishment for horse thieving in a hanging in the town square.
    Also in Arizona, it is illegal to carry an unloaded side arm. It is legal to carry a loaded side arm so long as it is not concealed in any way, shape, or form.
  3. Happy Valley

    Happy Valley Active Member

    Hmmmm, this might come in handy with my BIL.

    Speaking of gun laws......in Vermont the law is specific and forbids open carry in just two locations: churches and court houses. Court houses in VT have signs that state:
    No Firearms Allowed. Hehe, allows makes me chuckle.
  4. KCvale

    KCvale Motorized Bicycle Vendor

    Actually you could conceal a weapon with a permit, and they just changed that this year, you can conceal weapons all you want when it takes affect later this year without a permit.

    I always get a kick out of the old laws.
  5. liscos439

    liscos439 New Member

    It is illegal here to not tell HM Revenue & Customs something you don't want them to know but you don't have to tell them something you don't mind them knowing.

    You can also kill Welshmen with a bow and arrow in the city centre of Chester after midnight.
  6. give me vtec

    give me vtec Active Member

    that's no joke... that ish could get you both killed.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2015
  7. KilroyCD

    KilroyCD Active Member

    Oh no, with my last name I had better not visit Chester's city centre, especially after midnight...
  8. scooterpimp

    scooterpimp Banned

    Dont Get Married On A Dare In Delaware....

    Im currently served 15 years of my life sentance for getting married in delaware... (& It Wasn't Even A Dare???):whistling:
  9. RdKryton

    RdKryton Active Member

    I know what you mean. I didn't realized when I said "till death do us part" that I was setting a goal...

  10. Stan4d

    Stan4d Banned

    Ok..it is not a state law, but my company forbids the carrying of weapons. It describes in detail the size of knife that is not allowed. Guess what is on the list of required tools?
    Yup. A knife that violates company policy.
  11. Stan4d

    Stan4d Banned

    Texas: You cannot run for public office if you ever participated in a duel.
  12. GearNut

    GearNut Active Member

    You don't per chance work for the Gov'ment do you?
  13. ibdennyak

    ibdennyak Guest

    Especially if you lost.
  14. loquin

    loquin Active Member

    In Portsmouth Ohio, it is illegal to drive a motorboat down main street.
  15. GearNut

    GearNut Active Member

    Yeah! I bet it would tear up the pavement........amongst other things.
  16. loquin

    loquin Active Member

    The Ohio River floods the town every few years... Don't know why the town decided that running motorboats on main street were a no-no. They allow oars, apparently.