My Resume

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Zev0, Apr 27, 2009.

  1. Zev0

    Zev0 Member

    1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.

    2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

    3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

    4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

    5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.

    6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it... couldn't cut the mustard.

    7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.

    8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.

    9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.

    10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

    11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

    12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

    13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

    14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

    15. SO, I TRIED Retirement AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!
     

  2. bluegoatwoods

    bluegoatwoods Well-Known Member

    I spent a few years as a bicycle messenger, but it was just the same old run-around.




    (Joking aside, though, it was one of the best times of my life and I highly recommend it to youngsters with no dependents.)