Time for some Real Live DANGEROUS humor! OK?

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Reid, Oct 15, 2009.

  1. Reid

    Reid Member

    Hi all!

    Blue, a bit, because yesterday I caused myself to be intentionally stopped by a cop, who was parked by the wayside.

    Set up: was coming home from police internal affairs conference over a dispute that is in the lonnnnnng process of evaluation. I just "know" that I won't get satisfaction.

    I tend to sublimate frustrations. I also like to live dangerously.

    I also, lately, like to "hunt" cops, to find out which ones are naughty and which ones are angels of mercy! :tt1:

    So, in coming home in the afternoon by in my little yellow car, that every cop in this city must know by sight by now, I espied a black windowed cruiser, parked, doing the "school zone" kid-release duty thing, keeping the traffic running slow. Good service.

    As I passed s-l-o-w-l-y, about seven per, I rolled down my windows and gestured to whomever was in that car (black windows), with...

    ...do I dare say it? I gave him, not once, but twice, THE BIRD :devilish:

    Now, I did this as a form of sublimation for my recent frustrations.
    Ypedal will understand that being on "vacation" has been no fun :( and not good for my mental balance.

    In other words (this is a comic but true posting), SOMEONE has to suffer,
    and I intend to suffer along with any "victim" I choose.
    Makes sense, right?

    If I shoot myself in my foot, I will shoot your foot too.
    That way we can limp in mutual buddy agony:
    Ouch to the left of me and Ouch to the right of me. Beatles both...insects...all of us.


    OK. Shot the bird as they say,
    twice, very carefully-obviously,
    so that he'd have to see the offensive gesture.

    BRRRRRAP goes the siren. I stop instantly. "License and registration, please?"

    Meek Lambikins Reid :rolleyes7: "Yes sir. What seems to be the trouble, though?" (I never give a policeman "lip".)

    "Your rear turn signal housing is cracked. Wait in the car a second while I do the (background checks).

    Well. That's enough for now. I would like to finish the story in the next posting.

    It ends well for all concerned, and maybe will make for a needed smile for all!

    -----

    I gave the poor man the bird! OH, that's not a wise thing to do!
    But, what's a poor, frustrated Good Samaritan to do?

    Please par-boil me and I will finish the story pronto.
    And then, Tom permitting, I shall like to make another story real fast:

    The Answer in Brief Between Men and Women, Biology-Wise.

    (which should I finish first? The Cop Stop story of yesterday,
    or the Complicated Made Simple, diff. between men's and women's 'plumbing'?)

    It's all clean, I promise! You must laugh...or I go and shoot my =other= foot
    (I have about five feet ten inches):dunce:
     
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2009

  2. Reid

    Reid Member

    Wot? Nobody's here?

    I hoped for a tentative response. Have been up on the roof.
    Am "disabled", but not a slugabed all of the time.

    Let's have a bit of fun! This is original humour to follow in the next form.
    IF you don't laugh, may Management INFRACT me with a sledge hammer,

    forsooth!

    Fond best to all...bevare ! of the very next posting application that I'm about to apply.

    Be-varrrrre (Lugosi accent)

    :flowers:
     
  3. Reid

    Reid Member

    In Briefs: the difference between the Male and the Female

    Ten thousand thousand words could be needed to make the full distinctions clear.

    However, :dunce: Genius (IQ 118 and sinking) Reid, shall make the mysterious,
    easy to understand. Begin:

    :idea:

    Female plumbing:
    five thousand non-metallic contact joints all interconnected with neuro-muscular homonal mechanisms unfathomable even by gynecologists .

    Male plumbing: a flat roof, a gutter and a downspout.



    :whistling:
     
  4. SimpleSimon

    SimpleSimon Active Member

    You forgot one important point. Those ten thousand non-metallic contact joints are supposed to be self-lubricating.

    The operator must ensure the self-lubrication is working properly.
     
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