call your mother

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by spunout, Jan 31, 2009.

  1. spunout

    spunout Member

    do it. once a week. or any parent, if you're blessed to still have one or both around.

    tuesday morning, i got the news that my mother had been found dead on her kitchen floor sunday evening.

    she had been gone for a few days. a neighbor had noticed there hadnt been any activity in a few days, and could hear Buster, my moms dog, barking inside.

    my mothers health had been going downhill over the years. but she wasnt very old...66.

    i didnt know it, but she's been in financial trouble, too. lost her job early december. she said nothing when i talked to her in december.
    she said nothing to me, perhaps not wanting to be a burden. but i would have worked 10 jobs to keep her afloat.

    she made some legal preparations, swallowed a bottle of pain pills and laid down on the floor right in front of the unlocked main door. so she would be found easily.

    ive been second-guessing myself.."i shouldve called more. if i had, i'd have known her situations better" and so on. and its tearing me up.

    besides her health and money issues, in Alaska, people suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). there aint much for sunlight in the winters there. that does things to people.

    call your mother. it could make all the difference.

  2. biken stins

    biken stins Member

    So very sorry for your loss.
    God bless you, and your mother.
  3. arceeguy

    arceeguy Active Member

    I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your mother.

    I consider myself to be very lucky to still have both of my parents around. I give them a call once a week, and see them every month or so. (They live about 100 miles away)

    I keep reminding my parents that they can always move in with us. I have two other brothers that feel the same way too. Me and my brothers are determined to not let our parents wither away and die in some nursing home. I should probably start putting some money away to accommodate them, if needed.

    Once again, I am very sorry for your loss. Don't beat yourself up over it though, as parents sometimes don't want to "burden" their kids with their problems. I sometimes feel I need to pry information out of my parents about their health, finances, etc. They don't say anything because they "don't want us to worry". Sheesh....
  4. MotorMac

    MotorMac Member

    my condolences

    Im so sorry for your loss. I think back to when my mother was alive and wish I,d had done more for her too.
    Be strong.
    Love everyone now,Be kind to everyone now.Life is too short for all of us.
  5. bluegoatwoods

    bluegoatwoods Well-Known Member

    I can only vaguely imagine how much something like this would hurt.

    There's hardly anything more to say. But quite a bit to think about.

    I'm awfully sorry. Best wishes.
  6. azbill

    azbill Active Member

    sorry to hear this dude
    call me or vinnie iffn ya need a bro to talk to
  7. srdavo

    srdavo Active Member

    so sorry for your loss.
  8. RusticoRay

    RusticoRay Member

    I went for a ride today lots of ice spots specially around my Dads senior community. I hadnt been to see him for 3 weeks, he always gets a kick when I show up on my bike. I dont know why I picked today, I just did. I came home and read about your Mom and her passing and I want you to know that you and your Mom will be In my thoughts and prayers. I think Ill visit my Dad again soon.
  9. sorry for your loss.. I lost most of my relatives in a couple year period do to many issues including suicide.

    last year I lost my mother inlaw who was like a mother to me, we checked in on her every day we lived on the same farm. over 1/4 mile apart, her death was an unfortunate accident. she was on oxygen & she got her oxygen tubes caught around her power wheel chair & pulled tubes loose & she collapsed while struggling to get oxygen. when rescue squad got there there was nothing they could do & she left everyone in a financial mess we lost our home & most of its contents. she had re-financed the whole farm including the land our trailer sat on & when she died she was over 2 months behind on her mortgage & bank forclosed in another 2 months & gave us 10 days to get what we could & then locked us out & we had to leave alot behind. I cant even drive by without almost crying but was nothing more I could do

    we also had a sister inlaw that lived in another trailer on same farm & she is in same boat as us.

    been starting over since this past summer & has been a total nightmare. just recently starting to get back in control of my life.

  10. KilroyCD

    KilroyCD Active Member

    Spunout, my friend, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I'm able to sympathize with you, having lost my mother at age 82 to natural causes on Christmas Eve, 2007. I'm fortunate to still have my father, who will turn 86 in a few weeks. I talk to him several times a week and try to see him at least once a week. I saw him today and I'll be seeing him tomorrow as well, despite the fact he lives 50 minutes away from me.
    It's important to let your parents know you love them, because you'll never know when you won't have the chance to tell them anymore. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
  11. mikem

    mikem Member

    God Bless

    I'm very sorry to hear of your great loss. I'm praying that the Lord will keep and comfort you during this most difficult time.
    God bless you ...
  12. bikebum1975

    bikebum1975 Member

    Spunout sorry to hear about your loss.
  13. zackwyldefan

    zackwyldefan Member

    sorry for your loss.
  14. spunout

    spunout Member

    thanks, all.

    it seems some of you have been through a similar kind of deal. i'm sorry for your losses, as well.

    there is a positive spin on this.
    this has really made me reassess relationships with people still in my life, and what they mean to me.
    i think i need to take a good, hard look at those and figure out whats important, and what isnt. whats worth arguing about, and when to just bite my tongue and let it go.
  15. Mountainman

    Mountainman Active Member

    sorry to hear about the loss of your mother

    hi spunout -- we are sorry to hear about the loss of your mother

    you have shared with us all a very, very important point
    if we have a parent or parents alive today --

    we never know when -- this may be the last time -- while here on Earth
    it's a blessing when -- we get to do that !!!

    if I may spunout
    for those out there who may not be talking with their parents for some reason
    repair that condition soon
    if you loose one or both while not talking with them
    you will never forgive yourself...

    we love those parents
  16. Mountainman

    Mountainman Active Member

    these are words of wisdom -- well said spunout

    words above -- spoken with -- much wisdom

    used to be the getting older Mountainman's mom
    mom and Mountainman would argue way more than they should
    realizing that life is short -- and we don't know when one of us may be gone
    the two of them agreed not to argue any more

    it has been a great THING
    as we thank the one above
  17. SimpleSimon

    SimpleSimon Active Member

    It is not just our parents, for certain. January 2nd, 2001 I kissed my wife goodbye for the day, told her I loved her, and waved as she backed out of the driveway. I never saw her again - an hour later she was dead.

    As the book says, let not the sun set upon thy wrath, for none knows what the morrow will bring.
  18. fazratz

    fazratz New Member

    sorry bout your loss

    im sorry to hear that man. i lost both my parents in 1992 exactly 30 days apart. but it over now i beleive we all end up in a better place.
  19. BSA

    BSA Guest

    sorry to hear of your loss.