The Big D !!!

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locoWelder

Guest
never thought it would happen to me but it is....... just dont know what to do now......but if you been there please let me know what I shoud do, she just says I'm too dangerous for her tells me I need to grow up......please guys help a brother out I'm in a dump.
 


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alesterfeind

Guest
Hey Loco! Sorry to hear that. It s**** when relationships go bad. My only advice is to get support from friends and family. Hang out with your buddies, occupy your time with activities you enjoy and keep your chin up. I wish you the best.
 
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davidsis

Guest
Don't let them see you sweat. That's my advice. Women like to play a lot of games. Be cool and Don't go into brezurker mode. Take a deep breath and count to 10.
 
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gone_fishin

Guest
i don't want to repress a little venting, but we have to be very careful about where this goes.

loco...best bet is to go find something else to concentrate on for a while. trying to get to the quick fix always makes matters worse. hate to admit it, but that's experience talking...
 
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dbigkahunna

Guest
LW,
21 years ago I went through this. All I can tell you and you probably dont want to hear it, but it will pass. One day at a time. You and she may want to work on it. Try. She has issues, they may be valid. The growing up bit is just her way of finding issues. If she thing s you are dangerous, what have you done to make her think that. I have always been a big kid. Still am and they can bury me with my 22. My wife just sighs when she see's my new toys. We have been together for 19 years and married going on 17. It is funny, I have not seen my x in over 10 years. I really cannot tell you what she looked like. And at the time I was so mad and hurt I could not see how I could ever get past everything. BUt I did. One day at a time. Others have given good advice. Stick with your friends. DO NOT FALL INTO A BOTTLE! You have an interest you enjoy. Follow it. If you have kids, be sure they understand they have nothing to do with what is going on. Good luck
 
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OldPete

Guest
loco,
IIRC. You two just had a new born. She might be having postpartum depression. And with you wadding up a cycle recently...well this might just be over whelm time. I wish you the best whatever the out come.

Pete
 
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JemmaUK

Guest
loco,
IIRC. You two just had a new born. She might be having postpartum depression. And with you wadding up a cycle recently...well this might just be over whelm time. I wish you the best whatever the out come.

Pete
I have to agree with that and you have my best wishes. I've been through the same and to be honest I still havent moved on after three years *sigh*

Its very likely that if you've both just had a child it might be a mixture of stress and 'baby blues'. It might also be the fact that shes not mad at you, shes scared silly for you. From what you've mentioned about injuries - im not surprised.. not judging but you've done alot of damage to yourself over the years.

Kids arent the easiest things and it *will* change your life. I know it did mine. The minute that 7lb human turned up she completely changed my life and probably saved it too (long story).

Give it time and let things cool down a little, then talk to her

Hope things go well

Jemma xx
 
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Alaskavan

Guest
When I got divorced, it was basically because she wanted me to grow up and settle down. I refused. Funny thing is, I've pretty much grown up, and probably settled down a bit. Just bad timing. Oh well.
 
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ibdennyak

Guest
I had an epiphany

Loco:
This is kind of a strange post in your situationm but here goes. I learned something from, your situation, maybe you can learn something from mine. Yesterday was thanksgiving, and I didn't feel like I had too much to be thankful for, but I was wrong. I originally read your post, and although I felt bad for you, it didn't really register till later. Many of you guys describe yourself as big kids. I guess that would be me. Always marched to my own drum. Known as a very nice guy, but not into the marriage, settling down thing. I have the reputation as easy going, helpful, honest, a regular boy scout kind of person, but....there is a lady in Wisconsin who thought enough of me that she hung with me, and waited for me for 16 years. She wanted desparately to *tie the knot*, but I was always off doing something, or busy elsewhere, or what ever. About a year ago she sent me an e mail saying she had found a guy she liked. He wife had passed away fairly recently, and he was lonely, and they had become friends. She wanted to know if I would mind if she dated him. I said no, of course not. I have been living in Ak, about 3000 miles away for a while, and hardly see her anymore. About a month ago, I got an e mail with some wedding pictures. She said she was crying as she typed it, but she just couldn't wait for me any more. Jeez, talk about feeling like a jerk. What she was willing to give me, and I didn't even realize it. Anyway, I think she is happier than I could have made her, or hope she is. Just wish I would have realized before I let her believe I was the guy for her. I guess what I am thankful for this year, is that I didn't go any further with her. I am sure it just would not have worked out, and there would have been two miserable people.

Anyway, you asked for advice, and I don't have any, just a story that might give you a few thoughts. Maybe give it a little time, she gave me 16 years. Best of luck, and I hope it works out for you better than it did for me.

Denny
 
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