Typical Australiain Government

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by wanger, Jul 30, 2008.

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  1. wanger

    wanger Guest

    A fabulous characteristic of Australians is that we are far
    more direct and outspoken than others when dealing with the
    sort of elected wanker who wouldn't otherwise get the
    full drift of what they were trying to communicate.

    Below is one such wonderful communication...

    Dear Mr. Minister,

    I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still
    cannot believe this.

    How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number,
    and knows that I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs
    from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is
    still asking me where I was born and on what date.

    For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

    My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it
    is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past
    40 years. It is on my driver's licence, on the last
    five passports I've ever had, on all those stupid
    customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before
    being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and
    all those insufferable census forms that I've filled
    out every 5 years since 1966.

    Also..would somebody please take note, once and for all,
    that my mother's name is Audrey, my Father's name
    is Jack, and I'd be absolutely f**king astounded if
    that ever changed between now and when I drop dead!!!...


    I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I'm really ****ed off
    this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough
    of all this bull****! You send the application to my house,
    then you ask me for my f**king address!! What the **** is
    going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless
    Neanderthal arseholes workin' there!

    And another thing, look at my **** picture. Do I look like
    Bin Laden? I can't even grow a beard for God's
    sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new
    granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl).
    And would someone please tell me, why would you give a ****
    whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I
    ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a
    horse, believe you me, I'd sure as **** not want to
    tell anyone!

    Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the
    other end of the city, and get another f**king copy of my
    birth certificate, and to part with another $80 for the
    privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!

    Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the
    same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on
    the same day?? Nooooo.. that'd be too f**king easy and
    makes far too much sense. You would much prefer to have us
    running all over the place like chickens with our f**king
    heads cut off, and then having to find some high society
    wanker to confirm that it's really me in the *******
    photo! You know the photo..the one where we're not
    allowed to smile?! ...you morons.

    Signed: John Henry
    An Irate Australian Citizen.

    P.S Remember what I said above about the picture, and
    getting someone in high-society to confirm that it's
    me? Well, my family has been in this country since before

    In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter
    Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!)

    I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army
    something over 30 years and still have high security

    I'm also a personal friend of the president of the
    RSL.. and Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas
    card each year

    However, your rules require that I have to get someone
    'important' to verify who I am; You know.. someone
    like my doctor; WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN F**KING
    PAKISTAN!!!.....a country where they either assassinate or
    hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from the
    Commonwealth for not having the 'right sort of

    Wake up you f**king idiots this is Australia and I AM

  2. Pablo

    Pablo Motored Bikes Sponsor

    Welcome to America.
  3. SimpleSimon

    SimpleSimon Active Member

    Welcome to bureaucracy, everywhere, throughout all time.
  4. muddawg

    muddawg Member

    LOL !
    yer american-i-zation is comming along nicely !
    you know yer a truly free man when this is all you have to rag about !
    ROFL !

  5. ibdennyak

    ibdennyak Guest

    Very well put. I am printing it out so I can read it when I become frustrated with the beauracratic idiocy. :grin:
  6. Scottm

    Scottm Guest

    I'd like to see his response to your letter, but most likely it will be read and trashed by the young secretary he's cheating on his wife with. Have you writen an editorial for the newspaper? The letter might go well there. I actually wrote one a few years ago about a judge in the small suburb where I work and it got published. He's no longer in office for swaping videos with the jail guards of female inmates using the showers, but I like to think my letter helped.