Bike Security worried about theft - thorough research - the BEST plan for locking my bike up !!!

[johnsteve]

Couldnt of said it better myself iv got a 100k taser rigd in my frame to a old bluetooth speaker (for the bluetooth only)and connect it to my phone so when i go 15 ft away from my bike the bluetooth disconnects charges the taser and zapp zap zap if u touch my handle bars
just make sure u reconnect or ull b quite surprised ...i go to court for a&b with deadly weapon because this guy hopped on my bike and pedaled off 15ft later his face met the pavement it was funny when i watched him look at it get on got comfortable pedal twice then tense up and bust his face on a newly paved parking lot
For my bikes sake ill take the charge hahaha

Plans please

 

[CrazyDan]

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=taser+bike+plans

 

[GreenMantis]

From what I have read, the very best you could do would be to use 1/2" Pewag square link chain, and an Abloy lock with a 1/2" diameter shackle. But be prepared to spend as much on those as on your bike. Pewag is best known for making 10,000 mile snow chains for tractor trailers. There is no way to make it absolutely theft proof, but with those, unless they can pick the lock (and the lock cylinders are standard, you can replace it with one that is pick proof), then they will have to use either an angle grinder, or a cutting torch to cut the chain or the lock.
Another thought is GSM based GPS trackers are very cheap now, but you will have to pay for the sim card/cellular service, same as any GSM phone. That's not going to stop them from stealing it, but it will lead you (and your law enforcement agency of choice) right to the dirty thieves.

Just for fun, check out some of these:
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=bait+bike